Mother-In- Law related issues

User Rating: / 0
PoorBest 

Question:

Assalam alakium

I have been married for the last 9 months and my mother in law has made life difficult. She has taken away my wedding gold and tells me if I dont cook and clean I am not part of the family and also my husband witnessed the incident where my mother in law told me not to go to my parents and I should stay there and cook and clean. He has been very suppourtive towards me. Please advice me as she has stopped talking to my husband for supporting me.

Annonymous

Answer:

Salaam sister

Many thanks for your query. This issue is not covered by the Islamic Shariah so I cannot provide you with a response from Shariah. Albeit, I can forward my personal humble views on the matter.
 
Love despite being the strongest emotion can sometimes be a source of possessiveness. It is possible that parents feel insecure and see their daughter in law as a source of competition for love and  attention of their son. Thus it can create a feeling of jealousy and antagonism towards their daughter in law.
 
My advice to you is that you try and understand their insecurity and concerns and respond with wisdom by showing love, affection and care towards them. At the same level as you would do for your own parents. Try and win their hearts and try and reassure them that you are part of the family. Your husband has a very important role to play as well. He should, with kindness, gentleness and wisdom try and suggest to his parents to show empathy towards you. I would also recommend that both of you as true Muslims pray regularly to Allah and seek His help in this matter.
 
Furthermore, sometimes grand children can provide a strong link and a reason to bridge the gap between daughter in law and mother in law. The attention can be diverted from the daughter in law to the new addition to the family.
 
I would be confident that in time your sacrifice, hard work and efforts will bear fruit. Your husband has the responsibility to provide for your ultimate welfare and happiness. If despite above measures things go from bad to worse he should then ensure that you move into a separate house of your own; albeit as a last resort.
 
I enclose links from a sister web site that explain the issue in more detail.
 
http://www.monthly-renaissance.com/issue/query.aspx?id=846
 
http://www.monthly-renaissance.com/issue/query.aspx?id=62
 
http://www.monthly-renaissance.com/issue/query.aspx?id=126
 
 
If you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us again.
 
Best regards
 
Waseem Aslam
 
UIUK web team

| More...